Is anybody there?

I just want to see if anyone even reads this? 

Wednesday January 27th 2010

I feel much better about Nich today. Talking to Sloan, Alyssa, Reyes and my Mom helped me a lot. They said the ceremony was awesome. The priest was friends with Nich and that made it personal. He made lots of jokes, just like Nich would want. He did a fantastic job. They said there were tons of people there. Nich had so many friends. He was wearing a wrestling T shirt. So like Nich…. I am just happy for Nich and his life. I’m happy I got to be a part of it and I am happy his is no longer in pain. He was such a strong person and a great friend. I am happy because now I know I am not the only one who loved him. He was never alone. .

 

Later…

We got our heating situation fixed; I guess the valve was shut off that let the steam into our radiators. Now our apartment is so hot, sometimes almost 55 degrees!

I’m really excited, I just skyped with my friend Mareck from Slovakia. He is studying in Oxford near London. We are going to travel for my spring break to Paris and London and Spain and Portugal. I love when stuff like this happens. Now I just need to figure out Carnivale for next weekend. 

I have so much planning to do and homework to catch up on. The apartment is a mess and I have no groceries. I need to take out more money but I checked my bank statements and they are charging me like 20 dollars for a withdrawal! Crap.

Right now I’m sitting in class and have no idea what my professor is talking about, I don’t think any of us do. He talks a lot but never says anything. He gets real close to our faces and stares at us when he is lecturing, I don’t think he sees us though. I think I may pick my nose next time to see if he has any reaction.

Nope, no reaction, he’s in his own world.

I love my painting class. Our teacher, Teresa is crazy and I love it! We are using tempera paint and making a fresco. Today I stayed after to help clean up and she introduced me to this girl who was super fun and showed me all around the building. There are some seriously talented students here. I wish I had another class here instead of the one I’m sitting in. I am getting nothing out of Modern Italy. It is an hour and forty minutes where I can write out a blog entry and make my to do lists.

He is staring at me again and it is getting obnoxious.

So I found out today that It is normal for a processor to be late for class, over 15 minutes sometimes. I also learned class is finished when the processor is finished, not when the time is up… awesome…

P.s. I think my diet is starting to kick my butt. I’m exhausted and I have a headache. Pasta probably is not good when you eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I need to fix this I’m miserable

long days...

The last few days have seemed like forever, it is so hard to deal with Nich dying being so far away. No one knows him here so no one really understands. However for not knowing him my friends and teachers have been incredible supportive. I am lucky to have them here. I just wish I could have been home for a few days, to be at the funeral, to cry with my friends. But I’m on the other side of the world.

Sometimes I’m ok and sometimes I just loose it. The first night I didn’t sleep. That made yesterday even more confusing. There is another girl who’s name is Grace in my group and her Grandpa died this weekend too. We both found out threw e-mail at Pahthos on Sunday. Both funerals were on Monday and they were both Cremated. It was a bad week for Graces’ here in Macerata.

I walked around Sunday night until Sunday morning, the cold night felt good. I met an Italian on my who didn’t speak any English, he tried to make me feel better and find my friends apartment. He could have been dangerous but looking at his size I know I could have taken him out.  I walked around just thinking and enjoying the beauty of the city and the dark rolling valleys surrounding it.

When I got home I talked to my mom and sister on the phone and wrote my letter to Nich’s family.  I laid in bed trying to sleep but I was so cold and numb sleep never came.

I was ok at school until Filiberto talked to me about it in his office. I just lost it.

I was late for painting because I was skyping Carlo and Manual. I really just needed to talk to my friends. They told me Jake Curby a Wrestler passed away. He was 25 and healthy. He just had a seizure and passed a way.

I just need to sleep, I can’t focus. I have so much homework but I just cant do it. 

Nich

So I’m sitting in Pathos using the Internet and the cutest little Italian girl comes up to me talking in Italian. I only know a little bit of Italian but I was able to introduce myself and ask her a few questions. Her name is Maria Sofia and she had big brown eyes. She is beautiful. I asked her how old she was and she told me five. We sat there a bit just kind of wondering about each other, she must have been bored. Then she went back to her family.

So I go back to checking my e-mail. I had a new one from Reyes. He explained to me that Nich Boan passed away last Thursday morning and the funeral is tomorrow. I didn’t know what to do or what to say back to. I know Nich was one of his best friends too.

It didn’t sink in at first, then as I scrambled to find my phone to call my mom the tears came. I started balling in the middle of the café. None of my friends were there so it was all just Italians watching me. I called my mom and I lost it. She told me she would go to the funeral for me in my name. She is crushed by my pain and will do whatever she can to help me. Gosh I love her.

Sofia Marie saw me crying and came back over to me. She said something in Italian, probably asking me what was wrong. I didn’t know what to tell her or how to tell her, but just the fact that she was there made me feel so much better. She gave me a huge feeling of hope.

I need to talk to Reyes, he is in Japan serving in the Military so he can’t go home either. He must be having such a hard time. I can’t stand the though of him dealing with this on his own. I wish I could be with him right now.

Nich was my best friend my freshman year of high school. We met on a blind date to a dance. I was so happy to finally meet him in person after spending so many hours on the phone. He gave me a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek before handing me a red flower to match my dress.  I remember feeling like I had known him forever.

 

He was the perfect date. I was freezing on our way to the dance so he gave me his coat. It was icy and I was in heels so he carried me down the driveway to the car. The car was packed with people, I’m pretty sure we were sharing a seatbelt and the whole way there we were laughing and joking. I was not used to being treated so well..

The dance was at Nich’s school so I didn’t really know anyone besides our group. I was worried he might ditch me for his friends, but he never left my side. Instead of ditching me he introducing me to anyone and everyone, pretty mature for a ninth grade boy. We danced the whole night. Then during the last slow song he picked me up and put me on his feet before gently kissing me on the forehead.  

From then on we became even closer friends. I was going threw some rough times and he was my person. He was never to busy for me and could always make me feel better. Sometimes we would call each other during class to see how long we could talk before getting caught by our teachers. Those calls usually ended with out goodbyes.

After a year or so we started going our separate ways, but that didn’t last long. My friend and I drove out to Davison for the football game against Creek and I managed to park us in a muddy ditch. We were stuck good and right as I was about to give up my phone rang, it was Nich. Within 5 minutes he was at the scene with his dad’s truck and toe strap.

Nich always made me smile, he was always there when I needed someone. He was just the type of person who could brighten anyone’s day.

Things were not always easy for Nich. Life started dealing him some bad cards and he did what he could to survive. I tried to be there for him as much as I could, but not as much as I should have. I was crushed when I heard about his car accidents. Each time he would call me and tell me about his new battle wounds. One time we were on the phone and he was distracted so I asked him what was up and he told me he was just picking some more pieces of glass out of his arm. That kid has more metal rods and plates in his body than a transformer. I always wanted to watch and see what would happen if he walked threw a metal detector.

My most recent memory of him is last year Christmas break. Reyes and I met up with him at the mall just to bum around. They got smoothies, but I refused to let him buy me one because I was trying to be healthy.  That lasted 10 seconds and I drank his whole peanut butter shake. He just smiled and called me a fattie. Then we went in a store he thought it would be a good idea to put different hats on me and dress me up.

The next day he sent me a picture message of the makeover. He wrote how glad he was that we were friends and hoped to hang out again soon. That was one thing Nich was good at, telling the people around him how much he cared for them. He loved his friends and family more than anything. He always told us how much we meant to him, he gave out so many hugs and kisses. it was awesome! Nich Boan was a word, his definition would be; the spreading of love.

His messages always cracked me up. I would read and listen to them whenever I was down and his words always made me feel better and loved. I still have a voicemail saved from February 2005. It starts out with Alyssa saying, Hey it’s A-dawg, then Nich steals the phone and replies, more like poop-dawg.

Nich was probably one of the most unselfish people I know. He would do anything for anyone and never expect anything in return. Well maybe a big hug and a kiss on the cheek if you were a girl. Ha.

This is really hard on me. I want to be home, I want to be with everyone, but I can’t. I’m on the other side of the world. I know he knew I cared about him, but that doesn’t seem like enough right now. If only I could have been home…

Nich was someone who had held my heart together when it was broken. He hugged me so tight when I was down I could no longer feel the emotional pain. He played a huge role in my growing up, more than anyone will ever know. For a while, he was MY person.  

I am lucky to have him as a friend. I am grateful for Alyssa and Sloan setting us up on that blind date 6 years ago. If there were one thing I could tell him now, it would be how much he still means to me.

I will never forget him. He was a blessing to me and I am going to miss him very much.

The boring stuff...

This is our apartment, just outside the city walls. 

This is my school, it used to be a palace. There is a fountain in the gates which is a sign of status. There are two porsche's in there.

I have two addresses. One is for letters and the other for packages. However I do recommend you do not send packages because first of all I have no where to put more stuff and second, Italy is notoriously slow when it comes to their postal services and it probably would never get to me.

So the letter address is…

 

Grace Harcz

c/o AHA Macerata Program

P.O. Box 221

62100 Maceata

Italy

 

Packages, parces post, fed-ex, Ups and such, use this address:

 

Grace Harcz

c/o AHA Macerata Program

Via Crescimbeni, 5

62100 Macerata, Italy

phone 0733 261530

 

I am so happy to finally have a day off. I woke up and did a ton of dishes, cleaned some and now I get to spend the whole day doing homework!

I have been worrying a lot about my visa. I didn’t realize I could still get in trouble at the borders even if I didn’t leave the Schengen countries. I am seriously considering sneaking across borders by foot in camouflage at night. It just isn’t worth risking. I don’t want to be told I cant come back to Europe, and I really do not want to be fined. I don’t see why it is such a big deal. All I want to do is travel and see my friends. I know that it would be a hit or miss with people checking passports. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t, sometimes they feel generous, and sometimes they don’t. Kinda like getting pulled over for speeding except its hard to talk your way out of this when you don’t know the language and not everyone is to fond of Americans.

So that is the dilemma. Get some traveling done during my 10 day spring break and stay in Italy once my visa expires, or live with the family 15 minutes from here. There they will take care of me while I spend time in the high school helping students prepare for their English exam in May. I wonder if I do this I will some how be able to get a permission to stay. This is all so confusing it’s making me sick.

I have been meeting people left and right now. I figure if I just smile big and try to speak Italian I can make friends. It works : )

It is hard to get anything done, because we have excursions on the weekends. Yesterday we went to a Civitanova Marche, a city on the Adriatic sea. That was actually quite enjoyable because we had a lot of free time to check out the huge market and throw rocks into the sea.

January 29^th we go to San Ginesio and Abbazia di Chiaravalle di Fiastra. February 12^th we go to Tolentino and Ascoli Piceno. We have our mid semester break from February 19^th to February 28^th. March 5^th we go to Macereto and Castello Pallotta. March 10,11, and 12 we go to Firenze (Florence). March 19^th we go to Loreto and Grotte di Frasassi. March 25,26, and 27 we go visit Rome! April 10^th is our last day of the program in Macerata and I will be on my own to avoid being detained.

So you see we don’t have a lot of free time. The family that said they would host me is 15 minutes outside of Macerata. The mom said she could drive me to the university every morning because she works at the hospital but that would be so complicated with all of our planned events.

So this is my class schedule….

 

Monday

8:30 – 11:00 Italian

13:00 – 15:30 Painting

15:50 – 17:30 Modern Italy

 

Tuesday

8:30 – 11:00 Italian

13:00 – 14:40 Renaissance

14:50 – 16:30 Art History

 

Wednesday

8:30 – 11:00 Painting

13:00 – 14:40 Modern Italy

14:50 – 16:10 Cross Cultural

17:00 till whenever they decide we can be free, General Meeting

 

Thursday

8:30 – 11:00 Italian

13:00 – 14:40 Renaissance

14:50 – 16:30 Art History

 

Friday

Excursions

Two hours or more a week I meet with my Italian Tandem partner

Italians don’t really go out on the weekends, their going out nights are Wednesday and Thursday. That makes Thursday and Fridays at school so much fun for us…..

For every excursion we have to keep a journal for both Renaissance and Art History. I would tell you what they had to be about if I know.

These past excursions were so cold I couldn’t take notes cause my fingers were frozen.

I have three ways of getting internet.

At the AHA building between classes or lunch

Pathos internet café where you have to buy something and you get a little ticket that lets you use it for one hour. When it runs out you can get another ticket.

3)   I can hide out outside the Ostello and steal internet hoping no one sees me. But its always cold and whenever a car comes I have to stand up and let them by because the cobble stone street is so narrow.

I have not quite figured out how to send letters or post cards yet. I guess if you write more than 5 words it is considered a letter and you needs a different kind of stamp.

Sometimes our toilet doesn’t flush.

It is rude not to give exact change when buying something.

Most everything closes between 13:00 and 15:00.

I discovered Nutella and it is AWESOME!

We drink wine every day at meals. 

Possible housing opportunity

I’m so exhausted, and cold. I have not been warm since I left the states. Things are getting much better socially. I’m understating the language a little more every day. My favorite thing to do is to pop in a bar or pizzeria just to say CIAO!!! Then the conversations starts from there and we laugh trying to teach me Italian. I seem to get a lot of free things that way. Today in the pizzeria they guy forgot to charge me, but I went back in and paid because he was awesome.

I don’t mean to be a Debbi downer, but today was awful. This last week was loaded with classes, I’m taking 6 and I am in class ALL DAY. Bam Bam Bam Bam, All I want to do when I get out is sleep. I don’t even see the daylight . Class from 8:30 to 6. With only one two hour break and a few short twenty minute breaks in between classes. So I was excited to know we have excursions, field trips on weekends where we could travel and explore new places. Well that was until we had our first one today, a walking tour of Macerata. Oh my gosh we were all exhausted because we hung out last night. Filiberto really likes to talk, nothing fazes him, he doesn’t get cold, tired or hungry! He is oblivious to our pain. It was windy and 30 degrees today and we would walk a little bit, then stop for a long time and he would ramble on about something.  We were supposed to take notes buy my fingers were so cold I couldn’t get them to move and my brain was so burnt out from the intensive learning I just couldn’t retain any more. Filiberto is awesome, don’t get me wrong, I think he just forgets how hard and exhausting it is to be a student. So we did this for ten hours today, and we were freezing every second of it. Ill post pictures soon.

I met a boy. I found him on couch surfing and Katie, Carly, Allyson and I went to meet him at a bar the other night. We couldn’t find the bar so I just kept asking people . dove jazz? Dove means where.. and I knew there was jazz playing at the bar. I don’t know how we found it, but we did. Hahaahah oh man the best part, we walk in, underdressed standing there. I don’t really know what he looks like, I’m looking for a guy with a chin piercing and reddish hair. So we stand there awkwardly and I see this guy, we make eye contact and he does this points at me, then to himself and winks and gives a thumbs up! I immediately ran over to him for a hug and we were cracking up. he introduced his friends to me and mine to him. We couldn’t stay long though cause we had to meet our group for dinner. But man I was glad I met him. He’s cute and fun : )

Toda we met our Italian tandem partner. There are some guys who seem super fun. My girl is super nice. She is 27 and speaks English pretty well and is fluent in German! So we can practice German English and Italian!

Yesterday we went to this classical music concert. T was put on by three woman, the one from France played the cello, the girl from Argentina played the accordion. And the girl from Italy played the guitar. It was really amazing, the music was brilliant, but Alyson and I had to pee so bad I t was hard to enjoy. The building it was in was beautiful! A few hundred years old covered in marble and paintings. Lavish tapestries and gigantic ceilings.

After that our group of 13 went to Katie graces and Schin Schins apartment for wine before going out. I left early to go home to see if Michale, the boy I had met had messaged me. And guess who I run into on a tiny cobblestone road on my way home? Yeah, he and his friends had just parked their car, perfect friggin timing, so I just turned around and went back to Maracuja with them. Oh my goodness it was so much fun. There were so many people in the piazza and I was meeting them left and right and they were all trying to teach me Italian and we were hugging and laughing. Then when we left Michale held out his arm and walked me home : ). He is so nice, I can defiantly see us all being friends : ).

So yeah, today was death, and we have to do it again tomorrow bright and early. I can hardly move, im wearing 6 layers of shirts, thick socks and leggings under my jeans. I pulled them up way over my bellybutton to try and retain as much heat as possible. I’m pretty sure I’m sleeping in my clothes tonight, way to cold and tired to take them off. Oh and we forgot to turn the heat off this morning so now we have no heat for the night (12 hour heat usage limit)

Oohhh yeah! If found a family! Not for Macerata, but during spring break, I will be able to stay with them for free and I will go to their high school and teach English. Well Ill be like a tutor. I’m super excited. I really wanted to travel somewhere warm for my break but I cant get a hold of my friend in Spain and I like to take opportunities as the come. I don’t really believe in a higher power, but I do like to believe in fate. Its best to role with the punches because when you try to look past them you’ll get hit in the face. 

Learning

So went to bed again last night at like 7pm and didn’t get up till 7 am. I believe this is due to the hibernation instinct in my body.

It is so cold here. Between 35 and 40. Doesn’t sound so bad but they body never has time to warm up because that’s the temperature inside as well…

I slept threw my running alarm. Well it went off, I decided I was to cold to get out of bed. Then when Alysons alarm when off at 7 I woke up. Oops….

Yesterday I was so miserable during classes, cold and tired and hungry. Today I thought it would be a good idea to switch that up. For breakfast I had cold spaghetti because we have no microwave. Well it started out like that then I warmed it up on the stove, I ate some yogurt some break, a glass of wine, some tea and some more warm spaghetti. Oh, and I turned the stove on for heat.

Before I got here I figured I would be eating a lot of egg sandwiches. Well then I realized it was like 1:40 euro for 6 eggs, that’s over two dollars… way to expensive. You know you are in Italy when a liter of wine cost half of what six eggs do.

I am not looking forward to class today. I just want to take a hot shower and go back to bed. I don’t think I have any dry clothes. They are hanging up and probably wont be wearable for a month. Brr…

Right now im so pumped, I have seen the sun for the first time since I have gotten here. And that’s been a week now.

I am defiantly the slow one in class. It feels like high school all over again…  Italian class is my favorite though. It is the one I am most interested in. Our teacher is really nice.

I love renaissance class! There are 9 of us in it and professor Jamie Smith is awesome and enthusiastic. She is a visiting professor from Alma.  I actually learned more in here 90 minute class than I have in my life.

Living in the united states is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get.

Italy is a lot like the United States. Industry and wealth in the North and agriculture in the south.

People started coming to the states around 1603, so that means the building I am sitting in for class is older than my country…

Alexander the Great, (the man who conquered the known world) died from partying to hard.

Back at the apartment…

So at this moment I am extreamly happy. Alyson is playing guitar and singing ant it is just amazing. It reminds me of the end of Juno, that’s here style and it’s my favorite.

I am also happy because I just ate coffee yogurt, WOAH!

Classes today were so long. I don’t know how I feel about art history with Filiberto, however it did start getting interesting toward the end.

I probably should have went to Italian Film but I was so burnt out. I might add it though.

I skyped Timur today, my friend from Germany and we made plans for me to come visit, that’s exciting : ).

Our clothes are still not dry.

I need to go out and buy school supplies.

Later,

Ok so I thought things didn’t close till late here, but I was wrong, everying is closed. All I wanted were some notebooks to do my homework, but nope, im stupid.

I really need to get my glasses adjusted, they keep slipping down my face and it is driving me crazy.

I’m pretty sure I make people mad wherever I go because I lack the ability to communicate.