long days...

The last few days have seemed like forever, it is so hard to deal with Nich dying being so far away. No one knows him here so no one really understands. However for not knowing him my friends and teachers have been incredible supportive. I am lucky to have them here. I just wish I could have been home for a few days, to be at the funeral, to cry with my friends. But I’m on the other side of the world.

Sometimes I’m ok and sometimes I just loose it. The first night I didn’t sleep. That made yesterday even more confusing. There is another girl who’s name is Grace in my group and her Grandpa died this weekend too. We both found out threw e-mail at Pahthos on Sunday. Both funerals were on Monday and they were both Cremated. It was a bad week for Graces’ here in Macerata.

I walked around Sunday night until Sunday morning, the cold night felt good. I met an Italian on my who didn’t speak any English, he tried to make me feel better and find my friends apartment. He could have been dangerous but looking at his size I know I could have taken him out.  I walked around just thinking and enjoying the beauty of the city and the dark rolling valleys surrounding it.

When I got home I talked to my mom and sister on the phone and wrote my letter to Nich’s family.  I laid in bed trying to sleep but I was so cold and numb sleep never came.

I was ok at school until Filiberto talked to me about it in his office. I just lost it.

I was late for painting because I was skyping Carlo and Manual. I really just needed to talk to my friends. They told me Jake Curby a Wrestler passed away. He was 25 and healthy. He just had a seizure and passed a way.

I just need to sleep, I can’t focus. I have so much homework but I just cant do it.